Psychic Mehdi Ebrahimi Vafa (mehdi_vafa) wrote,
Psychic Mehdi Ebrahimi Vafa

Parenting fists

 Indeed, to bring up a child with the help of fists is a mistake. The father and the mother who can lay hands on children are hardly considered to be the parents. Children are born not to be beat and punished with the feeling of boundless superiority.
A child has the same blood as his parents. It means, if you are beating a child, you are punishing yourself! It means, that you do have disadvantages. It means that it is you who are guilty.
I want to ask the parents who consider themselves to have the right to hit a child: for what purposes do the people have mind and language?
The fist is not an argument! It is the recognition of own powerlessness and failure to explane everything with the help of words! I am totally against the growing up children through the beating. To lay hands on angels is a terrible mistake.
Sometimes in growing age a teen-ager provokes his parents on extreme measures by his behavior. If a child has made a serious mistake and it can influence all his life in the future, then I don’t exclude the use of force. But! There are certain limitations and the extent of punishment in any case. The parents should start with words, trying to make an explanation, to understand the child’s problem, to try to find the solution together. Yes, of course, it takes longer time in comparison with beating and punishment, but you are PARENTS. You are the most close and own people for your child! Confidence is the recipe for success in the process of growing up children! If a child repeats serious mistakes intentionally without realizing probable consequences, you have the right to use all the variants and methods of the educational process.
When a father with the tears in his eyes lays hands on his son slapping him in the face, it is not violence, it is the extreme of hopelessness. But love is the reason! We can understand such a father. He has to show his power and to earn a great reputation.
In our life we like to hear beautiful words and to talk only about right subjects. But! Don`t forget about reality. There are a lot of exceptions. When you see your 10-years son smoking, what can you do? You can say to him: «Son, you should not smoke. It brings harm to your health! » You can also use beating as a punishment!
In my opinion both in the first and in the second cases you make mistake! Everything depends on a father and a mother. The wiser they are, the less painful the education process will be. As I have said, first of all you should try to understand the reason of the child’s mistake. Probably, the parents are smoking themselves. Probably, they should begin from themselves and should try to show the disadvantages of smokers by their own example. Your child also can fall under the influence of elder friends. It happens very often. Maybe you just should pay attention to the surround of your child and try to protect him from unnecessary communicating.
It is very important to be a real friend for your child. You should do it on time. In that case even if a father lays hands on his son, he will hear “Thank you!” from him.
If a child loves his parents, he will do his best in order not to provoke them on beating. And the love of a child is always response. Just begin to change yourself. Give love and it will return to you, because it is the main quality of love, to return!
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